A Mile In The Shoes Of Aragorn
by ZenZen
Summary: Leggy and Aragorn switch bodies by some mysterious force. Leggy's POV. WARNING: contains character mutilation.


**A Mile In The Shoes Of Aragorn, Son of Arathorn**

A/N: well, this is…different… I admit that the POV does get a little confusing during the fic, but just remember that Legolas is in Aragorn's body, so when he's referring to 'Aragorn', he actually means the body he is in currently.

My name is Legolas Greenleaf. Or rather, was, until this morning, when I woke up in Aragorn's body.

Used to be the prettiest elf in Mirkwood, must pretty Aragorn up a bit as I must keep my reputation. Body feels exceptionally heavy. Miss pointy ears and long blond hair. Also miss well-manicured fingernails. When I get my own body back I must stop Aragorn from biting his nails.

Own body have disappeared, presuming that Aragorn is using it to pick up chicks. Must say that self is much prettier compared to current body.

Looked everywhere. Cannot believe Aragorn does not have even ONE hair product, not even a hairbrush. Bought a fine comb at the Gap of Rohan and smoothed out the tangles is hair. Only downside is that the curls seemed to have disappeared; was strangely attracted to them.

Checked reflection is mirror, looked much prettier.

Took a shower, tried hard not to look down. Used the new bought Herbal Essence shampoos, hair now silky and shiny. Dirt in nails and on neck washed off. Is proud to say that Aragorn is starting to look clean. The dude's natural skin tone is actually quite light. Is happy: this means that I do not have to spend 10 silver bars on a new foundation.

Was debating over whether to buy a hot pink nail polish. Decided on 'flirty red' instead.

Noticed that Gimli was staring at me strangely. Must have been admiring what I've done to Aragorn's hair. Raised hand just so he could see the new nail colour. The dwarf strode away shaking his head. Pfft. He must be jealous.

Had sudden knowledge of Aragorn's bank account numbers. Went to the Glittering Caves and had 10 gold bars withdrawn so self could get Aragorn a pair of legwarmers and some Cadbury chocolate. 

Encountered Éowyn on the way. She looked disgusted at new hairdo and nail colour. Said something about the upcoming battle and useless pretty warriors. Pfft. She was just jealous.

Got hot pink legwarmers as planned. Was not put off by suspicious sideward glances. Pfft. They're all jealous.

Met Gandalf on the way to the stables; is not used to his sparkly new white colour. Had conversation about bleaches. Must say that G is quite experienced in this field. He was kind enough to lend me a mild one to use on Aragorn's hair. Is excited: now Aragorn can look just like me!

(Time passes)

Aragorn, I am proud to say, is now a blond. The look suits his complexion, along with the nails and the legwarmers.

Absolutely cannot stand Éowyn's jealous attitude and her accusations that I've copied her hair. Just because Aragorn is now prettier than she is. Battle my hot ass, bet it's an excuse to admire Aragorn's new 'do up close. She's also been dropping subtle hints that she liked the old Aragorn better. Phwoar, as if. She will not trick me into transforming Aragorn back into the gruffy pile of dirt he once was.

Tired on a new lipstick. Decided that Aragorn's look will never be complete without his original wavy hair. Retrieved my pink rollers from Gimli despite his many protests ("But they are the elf's! I cannot lend them to you, Aragorn!"). Ah, pink hair rollers, how I have missed you… alas, I have grown out of the Galadriel-wavy-haired-look a thousand years ago. Now Aragorn will be able to appreciate the fineness of my pink hair rollers.

Took another shower while hair was in pink rollers, looked down a little this time and noticed (in horror) Aragorn's _piles_ of chest hair. Yes, chest hair! I am stunned, and utterly, utterly disgusted. Chest hair! Ew!

Knock at the door, must be that pair of fine Italian leather boots I ordered…

(Time Passes)

Argh! My hair! What has Aragorn done to my beautiful, well kept, silky smooth, groomed daily, super shiny, super straight, washed by Herbal Essence hair? Nooooo! My life is ruined! Ruined! My eyes have been burnt just looking at it! Now I'll never again be the prettiest elf in Mirkwood! Never!

(Time Passes) ~No POV~

After Legolas has screamed and kicked and scratched and generally threw things around a bit, he sat Aragorn/his own body down and decided to teach his the delicate art of chest hair removal… after all, no man was a pretty man with chest hair.

~End

Disclaimer: I do not own ANYTHING… well, maybe except for the pink hair rollers, but they're my mum's =)

**Important note**: to anyone who has read **Shelly-the-Great**'s other version of the story, When Aragorn Turned Into Legolas, I have not copied the idea off her. We decided that we'll do one version of the story each, so it's a shared idea thing.


End file.
